Here I am, a little more into my spiritual journey and suddenly God starts asking me to do things that I don’t really want to do. I’m pretty sure we’ve all been here. That point when a rough situation passes and then God starts asking you to reshape yourself and – in reality – work on your relationship with him. Even though we might want to ignore it, it’s just not that easy. For some reason all of the scripture you’ve been reading seems to have a new theme and what God is attempting to get across isn’t something you want to be hearing. Suddenly, instead of crying about why things have happened to you, you start wondering why God wants you to change – I mean, you’re happy with the way your life is, right?
I’m not going to say that your wrong. In fact, you very well may be happy with your life. I know that God has answered a major prayer of mine and, while jumping for joy, I had this feeling that He was about to start expecting more out of me. Him expecting wasn’t the problem, though. My not being sure if I can – and/or want to – was the bigger issue.
“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.” Romans 6:12-14
On Monday, I read Romans 6:12-14 and, instead of acknowledging exactly what God said, I just decided that I wasn’t ready to give up my sinful nature quite yet, so this passage just didn’t apply to me. Then on Tuesday, I read a passage in Galatians, but again, it obviously didn’t apply to me, right?
“For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:17-21
Then on Tuesday, I read a passage in Galatians, and I started to see a pattern. I started to feel like God was calling me out, like he knew my flaws and wanted me to fix them. Frustrated, because I honestly am sort of happy with my life, I started to ask God why? Like, why do you want me to change things about myself? I mean, I’m a pretty nice person and I never get drunk. Isn’t that good enough?
Or maybe that thing that has been in the back of my mind about impurity and sexual immorality wasn’t just a thought. Then, like many do, I argued with God. I’ve tried that before, obviously I can’t abstain. I heard him answer, “You can’t, but I can.” Yet, there I sat, pushing the thought to the back of my mind again. The only thought I had pertaining to abstaining from sexual impurity was, “Nope, not going to happen. Not a chance.”
I was through asking why. I didn’t want to hear what God was trying to tell me. I didn’t want anything to do with it. Even so, it was in the back of my mind, tinkering. See, I said earlier that God had answered a really important prayer, but – unfortunately – that wasn’t the only prayer. I know he’s working on the other ones and that he’s trying to teach me and mold me as he does, so when I read another passage today, he answered my why.
“See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse— the blessing if you obey the commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today; the curse if you disobey the commands of the Lord your God and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known.” Deuteronomy 11:26-28
See, God gives us freewill – if we obey his guidance or if we don’t is completely up to us. However, he also made us a promise regarding the end result. Either we obey him and find true happiness or we disobey him and feel the full impact of doing so. Sometimes, God says what we don’t want to hear and often, during those times, we hide from him.
We often forget that he only asks us to obey his commands because he loves us. This moment, this second, this is where you are supposed to be. God loves us more than we can possibly imagine. He’s willing to give us the desires of our heart if we’re willing to follow – and obey – him blindly.